Speech Patterns That Can Be Annoying To Listeners
Published on 6 Aug 2008 at 9:35 am.
8 Comments.
Filed under Attraction, Business Development, Feature Articles, Personal Development Strategies.
Are you a public speaker?
If you said no, thinking that public speakers are folks who do live or online presentations to audiences, you’d be missing an important point. Anyone who engages in conversations with people is a public speaker! While you might not be in front of a group, every time you open your mouth to say something you are speaking, right?
On a coaching call the other day, my client said she wanted to talk about the feedback she’d gotten from folks about her presentations. I thought, “what a great topic.” She’s had some media training and picked up some great pointers. She was noticing some speech patterns that she felt might be annoying or distracting to folks listening to her.
So, at a recent presentation, she asked for feedback on the evaluation form about her use of “ums and ahs”. Ask and ye shall receive! The feedback from participants confirmed that her overuse of ums and ahs were annoying and distracting and affected people’s ability to focus on her message.
When we spoke, she realized she uses certain speech patterns out of habit (she grew up with ums and ahs in her family) and as place holders. When she was thinking out loud and didn’t have an answer, she used ums and ahs to stop anyone else from speaking or interrupting her.
What are some of your speech patterns? Some may be unconscious habits and trendy words or phrases. When overused (every other word, how you begin each sentence, a consistent way of responding without variation in a conversation), they can cost you the attention from others, dilute your message, and be very off putting.
In addition to ums and ahs, here are some common words and phrases to consider replacing or decreasing:
- Sorta (wishy washy)
- Ya know (this one can drive folks nuts and breaks attention rapidly)
- Well, you know (I’m guilty of this one and I realize I have often use this response to manage a slight stutter problem I’ve had since childhood).
- Awesome (yes this has been around for years and personally, I have grown weary of this as a constant response. I want something new!)
- Too many “I statements” (can make you sound too “me, me, me, focused”)
- I know …(exactly) what you mean…what that feels like….. (No, you don’t. Unless you walk in someone’s shoes, you can relate to others from your own personal experienecs.)
What other ones can you think of?
What are some of yours that might be time to replace or, at least, minimize?
Some ways to become more self aware of your own patterns include:
1. Become more present while speaking and listen to yourself in conversation with others. What are some of your favorite words or phrases that you consistently use?
2. Review any recordings you have of yourself presenting information. Hearing yourself speak might be uncomfortable. Listen with curiosity rather than judgment.
3. Solicit feedback. Include friends, trusted colleagues, or a select audience you feel you can ask. How are you coming across to others in direct conversation? Are they attentive, eyes glazed over, seem distracted?
4. Explore some of the ways your speech patterns are serving you? Unconscious habit, place holder, manage stutters….
To improve your communication skills:
- Add more conscious breathing to become more present
- Slow down and take more deliberate pauses
- Play with other ways to respond
- If you’re doing more professional presentations, working with a media trainer is a wise choice
PS. Last week on my last scheduled Blog Talk show, my special guest was Dianne Legro who is a media trainer and speech specialist. The show will be posted for two more days and she’s offering a fabulous coaching package for all of my readers and email list. Go look. I’ll be work with her personally to improve my ums, ahs and, well you knows! To hear our Blog Talk conversation click here. Hurry, it will be up only through Friday, 8/8.
Have a terrific week
Cheers,
Lorraine
www.powerfull-living.biz
Compelling Conversation with Christine Kloser
Published on 6 Aug 2008 at 9:13 am.
2 Comments.
Filed under Attraction, Business Development, Compelling Conversations for Powerfull Living, Feature Articles, Savvy Marketing Tips, Special Events.
Join me in a compelling conversation with Christine Kloser, inspirational business coach, speaker, award-winning book publisher & author. Her most recent book, “The Freedom Formula: How to Put Soul in Your Business and Money in Your Life” is being released August 13 on Amazon.com
We’ll be talking about:
- The Freedom Formula
- Insider tips to how she achieved her greatest accomplishments as an entrepreneur
- Key factors in her recent rapid success during tight economic times
When: Tuesday, August 12, 2008, 7-8 pm EST/4 pm PST
Where: The comfort of your home or office, anywhere in the world. Listen via your computer or pay a nominal long distance fee to call in.
Cost: Totally free.
Click here to register for this special conversation.
We look forward to having you on the call!
Cheers,
Lorraine
www.powerfull-living.biz
Maintaining A Positive Prosperity Outlook During Uncertain Times
Published on 4 Aug 2008 at 1:07 pm.
No Comments.
Filed under Attraction, Business Development, Feature Articles, Personal Development Strategies, Special Events, Spirituality & Inspiration.
Do you wonder how you can stay upbeat and productive while things seem to be up in the air?
During times of uncertainty, either in your business, your personal life, and in the world, staying positive, focused, and productive can be a challenge. With intentions to be at your best, it is not uncommon for fears and self sabotage to negatively affect how we think, feel, and act.
Join me as I’m interviewed by Dr. Joe Capista as his next guest in his Expert Teleseminar Series. I’ll share insights on how you can maintain a positive outlook no matter what.
You will learn:
- How to shift negative self-talk into empowered thinking
- The value of creating a “rough day” strategy
- The power our “stories” have on our attitudes and behaviors
- Three tips to unhook from fear so that you can shift from “no to GO”
- Ways to maintain an abundant mindset and bring out your “best self”
YOU MUST REGISTER TO ATTEND! http://www.joecapista.com/LorraineCohen.htm
When: Aug. 6, 7:30-8:30 PM Est/ 4:30-5:30 PM PST
Where: in the comfort of your home or office
Cost: F*R*E*E unless you want to call in on the bridge line for a nominal charge
YOU MUST REGISTER TO ATTEND and receive the call in info: http://www.joecapista.com/LorraineCohen.htm
You won’t want to miss this call
PS - I’m offering a bonus gift for folks who register. (It’s a great one!)
Cheers,
Lorraine
www.powerfull-living.biz
Coaching Tip: Identify Your Core Values
Published on 3 Aug 2008 at 9:31 am.
10 Comments.
Filed under Attraction, Coaching Tips, Personal Development Strategies, Spirituality & Inspiration.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
One of the first places I start with new clients is doing values work. Many people have never even thought about what their values are. Have you? I mean really looked at your values?
Why is it important?
Your values are the principles, beliefs and attitudes that guide your decisions, actions and behaviors. Your core values reflect who you are and represent your heart. They define and distinguish who you are as a person – what matters most to you, what you stand for (and stand on) as your inner foundation. When you act in a way that is in conflict with your heart, your life feels more like a struggle, unhappiness grows, you can feel disconnected from your SELF. When you make choices and take actions that line up with your values, you will experience greater peace and abundance.
According to works of Louis E. Raths, Sidney B. Simon, Merrill Harmin, Howard Kirschenbaum and Leland Howe (The VALUES REALIZATION INSTITUTE), a value must meet seven criteria:
- It must be prized and cherished
- It must be chosen from among alternatives
- It must be chosen freely, without coercion
- It must be chosen after thoughtful consideration of the consequences of each alternative, not impulsively, and after careful critical thinking.
- We must be willing to publicly affirm it
- We must act on it, and act on it repeatedly
- It must be consistent with the other values we profess or claim to hold
So, do you know what you value most? What do your care about deeply and passionately?
I suggest writing down your 5-10 core values – the ones that represent the essence of who you are. Next, define them so they aren’t just words on a page. Create language to capture the spirit of each value – what does it mean to you – AS YOU?
For example:
Integrity is a core value for me. My definition is: “Showing up” and taking 100% responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, and actions in all areas of my life. Sharing my gifts, talents, passions, and skills in service to humanity.
Give yourself some time to refine your definitions so you reveal the heart of what each value means to you. (It’s not unusual for me to work with clients for several weeks on this exercise!).
Identifying core values is one of the steps in my blue print for making rock-solid decisions. Discover all five steps in How Do I Choose? eBook. It’s one of my signature products folks rave about.
Have a great week!
Blessings,
Lorraine
www.powerfull-living.biz
http://www.powerfull-living.biz/blog/2008/08/03/coaching-tip-identify-your-core-values/trackback/
Do You Have The Courage to Say YES?
Published on 1 Aug 2008 at 5:40 am.
12 Comments.
Filed under Attraction, Courage Series, Feature Articles, Personal Development Strategies, Spirituality & Inspiration.
At the beginning of this year I wrote about dreaming BIGGER and creating a Treasure Map to capture your vision and desires for your business and your life. Each day as I sit at my desk in my office, I can see my Treasure Map mounted on the wall in front of me, beckoning me, inspiring me, and challenging me to step up into a more expansive reality for my life.
This year has been one of many personal and business shifts, growth, and challenges. I continually advocate how essential it is to do the inner work and have the courage to face your inner demons when that may be the last place you wish to go because of the anticipated pain. The message for me has been about looking at all the ways I am still playing small and hiding out instead of showing up and claiming my destiny. I refuse to empower my fears and beliefs to hold me hostage from the life I came here to live!
I’m an expert in helping people transform their negative beliefs, break through their fears, build their self-confidence, and increase self love. It’s second nature to me when I’m helping friends or coaching clients. It’s easy when it’s about the other person! So, I said YES at the beginning of this year and the next layers of fear and pain about feeling inadequate, unworthy….have been emerging (all over the place) because I am asking for the next phase of my life and soul destiny to be revealed. Ask and ye shall receive….
A few days ago I wrote a post called, Playing the “what if?” game which is a game we can play when dealing with fear about change. I can understand why the inner journey can feel intimidating and scary. It’s unpredictable and invites a lot of change. The unknown brings up lots of questions and concerns that are all fear -based. We worry about, “Will I be ok? Am I strong enough to handle the pain I anticipate? What if I don’t like what I see/find? Am I good enough/smart enough to be successful?” I could go on..
Did you know that in a single moment you are experiencing a wide range of thoughts, feelings, sensations and physical response simultaneously? You can be in a state of calm and peace while simultaneously experiencing anxiety and fear.
I know I’m connected to my spirit when I feel the peace regardless of what my mind is saying to the contrary. It is the calming presence within me that gives me the courage to step into the unknown with the faith that I will be ok. I’ve come to trust that presence because I can recall numerous times in my past history when I have listened to and followed that “still voice inside” and things are gone well.
I see brief glimpses of what I might be moving towards and it’s not always clear if I am making it all up in my head because it looks good or if I am tapping into pieces of the vision God has for me. Thank goodness for my friends who love and support me in staying rooted in my trust and faith. Some days, I need those reminders, LOL!
Today I’m restating my YES and trusting that things will unfold in Divine Timing and Grace as I allow my spirit to guide me. Below are the statements I enthusiastically declare out loud and on this blog! I invite you to create your own.
- I say YES to fully living my destiny even if I feel afraid
- I say Yes to BECOMING the vision God has for my life even if I feel inadequate or unworthy
- I say YES to what is ready to be birthed within me to express this vision
- I say Yes to allowing whatever is ready to be healed and transformed in an easy and delightful way
- I say yes to joyfully sharing my gifts, talents, qualities, strengths, and capacities with others and the world
- I say YES to giving my heart a greater voice in speaking my truth
- I say YES to receiving all of the miracles, gifts, and blessings that have my name on it
- I say YES to deepening my faith and trust as I partner with the unknown
- I say YES to releasing struggle and lack
- I say YES to ease and flow
- I say YES to being in service to others in ways that align with God’s vision for my life
- I say yes to daily practices that create connection with my spirit/The Divine
- I say YES to giving and receiving love
- I say YES to ME
- I say YES to becoming who I am meant to be and fulfill what I am here to do
I love Michael Beckwith’s statement from his Life Visioning Program: “I am willing… I am ready… I am available to more good than I have ever imagined or experienced at any time in my life”. I say that repeatedly every day. I even have it programmed into my computer to pop up in Outlook every morning at 9am as I begin my day.
I believe that the vision we have for our lives pales in comparison for the one God has for itself, as us in a physical body, because God’s dream is bigger and more wonderfull than we might permit or be capable of imagining.
Do you have the courage to step into who you are meant to be? It’s ok if you feel afraid, inadequate, unworthy…. You can take it one step at a time.
Regrets leave a bitter taste. Life is meant to be abundant and joyful. I believe that.
Do you have the courage to say yes to the life you are meant to live? Are you ready to say yes NOW?
Cheers
Lorraine
www.powerfull-living.biz
http://www.powerfull-living.biz/blog/2008/08/01/do-you-have-the-courage-to-say-yes/trackback/
Maintaining A Positive Prosperity Outlook F*R*E*E Teleseminar
Published on 30 Jul 2008 at 8:25 am.
No Comments.
Filed under Attraction, Business Development, Personal Development Strategies, Special Events, Spirituality & Inspiration.
Do you wonder how you can stay upbeat and productive while things seem to be up in the air?
Do you find your thoughts drifting into fearful thinking when facing the unknown?
Do you find yourself procrastinating and letting things slide that you know you should be doing when you are worried and anxious?
If you’re nodding your head yes, you’re not alone.
During times of uncertainty, either in your business, your personal life, and in the world, staying positive, focused, and productive can be a challenge. With intentions to be at your best, it is not uncommon for fears and self sabotage to negatively affect how we think, feel, and act.
Join host Dr. Joe Capista as he interviews me on how you can maintain a positive outlook no matter what.
You will learn:
- How to shift negative self-talk into empowered thinking
- The value of creating a “rough day” strategy
- The power our “stories” have on our attitudes and behaviors
- Three tips to unhook from fear so that you can shift from “no to GO”
- Ways to maintain an abundant mindset and bring out your “best self”
YOU MUST REGISTER TO ATTEND! http://www.joecapista.com/LorraineCohen.htm
When: Aug. 6, 7:30-8:30 PM Est/ 4:30-5:30 PM PST
Where: in the comfort of your home or office
Cost: F*R*E*E
YOU MUST REGISTER TO ATTEND and receive the call in info: http://www.joecapista.com/LorraineCohen.htm
You won’t want to miss this call
Cheers,
Lorraine
Learn Secrets to Becoming A Media Star - This Thursday at Noon
Published on 29 Jul 2008 at 11:28 am.
No Comments.
Filed under Business Development, Feature Articles, Special Events.
Do you desire to become a more effective public speaker to grow your business? Would you like to improve your ability to communicate ideas in ways that people clamor to hear? Do you want to give a greater voice to your heart?
Join me in a compelling conversation on Powerfull Living Radio with my special guest Dianne Legro, international speaker, voice specialist, and speech/presentations skills expert. Learn valuable tips and strategies to bring your voice and message out to your ideal audience and make money!
When: Thursday, July 31. 12 -1pm Eastern/9-10 am PST
Where: www.blogtalkradio.com/PowerfullLiving (listen live or download the show from here afterwards!)
Cost: Absolutely free unless you’d like to call in and chat with us live.
You won’t want to miss this call!
Cheers,
Lorraine
www.powerfull-living.biz
Coaching Tip: Stop “Shoulding” Yourself
Published on 28 Jul 2008 at 5:05 am.
6 Comments.
Filed under Coaching Tips, Feature Articles, Personal Development Strategies.
“Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul”. ~Max Ehrmann
How often do you begin statements inside your head or out loud that begin with words like: I know I - should, shouldn’t, need to, have to, supposed to…?These words create constriction and the illusion that you have a lack of choice. They are all different shoulds!
When we’re young we’re continually told what to do, how to think and feel about things, the difference between right and wrong… according to other people’s perceptions and beliefs. We become culturally conditioned to societal beliefs and behaviors. We develop viewpoints to look at life through a lens of guilt, obligation, and shame. Too often we are making decisions and taking actions that aren’t what we really desire. If that’s true for you, whose life are you living?
How often do you get upset with yourself when you don’t do something you feel you should do? What does your self-talk sound like? Supportive? Unsupportive?
How much vitality and joy do you feel when you do things out of guilt, obligation, or shame because you fear negative consequences. You may be afraid of upsetting others or risking the withdrawal of their love and being punished in some way. The result is a build-up of resentment, anger and frustration that ultimately becomes self-directed.
The ability to have choice and make our own decisions is an important freedom; a part of having free will and spiritual growth. Without the freedom to make choices we can feel powerless and hopeless.
Who would consciously choose to feel that way?
How often do you should on yourself?
Over the next 24 hours observe how often you begin statements out loud or in your head that begins with shoulds. Do this as an experiment to become more self-aware. Pay attention to how you feel emotionally, physically, spiritually.
Exercise:
Write down a few statements that begin with any of these words, “I should…. I have to, I need to
To allow yourself to have choice, play with replacing your statements with permission language.
Examples of new language:
I choose to…..
I will…..
I want….
I desire to…..
I can….
I give myself permission to….
It’s ok for me to…….
Notice how you feel – emotionally, physically….
Do you see how shifting your language to include choice moves you from constriction to a place of expansion and possibility! Permission language feels more loving and respectful too. Can’t ya just feel it?
PS If you quickly repeated the phrase, “I will not should on myself today” at least three times, you might be surprised at what you are really saying. Go on, try it.
Have a great day filled with lots of choices 
Lorraine
www.powerfull-living.biz
http://www.powerfull-living.biz/blog/2008/07/28/coaching-tip-stop-shoulding-yourself/trackback/
