fulfilling life that aligns with your spirit
Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are
Published on 30 Jun 2009 at 3:00 pm.
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Filed under Feature Articles,Personal Development Strategies,Special Events,Spirituality & Inspiration.
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In the late 1980′s I became an addictions counselor and psychotherapist at a Recovery Center. Prior to my joining the Center, I had been working for a few years as an energy healer, spiritual counselor, and hypnotherapist. I worked with men and women who came from violent families, been abused, abandoned emotionally and physically, and been taught to believe that they were fundamentally flawed and unlovable. They felt deep shame at the their core. Many felt they had no right to be alive, that they were a mistake, and they were unlovable just for existing. Others felt shame for things they had done that they judged to unforgiveable or that others seems to condemn. Shame becomes bound in secrets and slowly begins to erode self-esteem, turning self-love to self-contempt and loathing.
Who hasn’t done something they regret or something they want to hide because of fear and certainty that if people found out they would withhold love and/or leave? It takes a huge amount of energy to hide secrets for fear of exposure.
In 1989 I bought the book, “Embracing Our Selves” by Hal Stone, Ph.D. & Sidra Stone, Ph.D. While, this is more of a manual for professionals rather than the lay person, their explanation of disowned selves was fascinating. They view (as I do) everything in life as an energy pattern in one form or another that relates to us on the physical, emotional, mental, and physical level. We come into this life as open, trusting, loving, dependent and vulnerable babies expecting to be unconditionally loved and we find out very quickly that love is very conditional, and often painful.
What are disowned selves?
They say they are “energy patterns that have been partially or totally excluded from our lives”. They can be qualities, talents, strengths such as creativity, intuition, and intelligence. Disowned selves are energy patterns that have been punished or rejected when they emerged and can be detected by the intense and uncharacteristic energy reaction we have to others who mirror something within us we are denying. The more we deny parts of ourselves, the more they begin operating unconsciously, often erupting into our life situations with intense emotion that is often destructive and malevolent such as lashing out at something in a blind rage, or punishing yourself in harmful, destructive ways.
Where can we find disowned selves?
- Think of someone you deeply admire or respect. You might even have thoughts of wishing you were more like that person. The qualities you desire most in another is probably something you have disowned within yourself.
- Think of someone you intensely dislike or a something you judge in others to be reprehensible.  What you intensely disdain in others is usually a mirror of something in you that you find unlovable.
Wholeness means embracing all of who we are through the power of love and forgiveness. To live authentically, we must have the courage to see both the truth and lies of who we think we are so that we can become who we are meant to be. That means looking in the shadows of who we are so that we can bring light and healing to the parts within us that are in pain.
In the recovery center there was a saying:“I know I am someone special, cuz God don’t make no junk”.
Is it time to shine some light into your places of darkness so that you can be free to SOAR?
Is it time to become who you are meant to be without the shackles of past pain?
Are you ready to be whole?
This healing journey is one that can greatly be assisted when you have qualified, skillfull, and gifted people to support your process of healing. Working with a trained therapist, healer, coach, mentor or facilitator can help you transform the pain from your past so that you can create a vibrant future.
Acclaimed spiritual teacher Debbie Ford and some of today’s foremost thinkers take viewers on an emotionally-gripping, visually-compelling journey into the human psyche’s mysterious shadow self -the hiding place for our most disliked thoughts, emotions, and impulses– and reveal how people have embraced their worst fears to become their best selves.
Step out of the darkness of your smallest thought into the brilliance of your greatest dream. Watch The Shadow Effect movie available now on DVD or online.
Blessings,
Lorraine
www.isayyesnow.comÂ
www.powerfull-living.biz
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