fulfilling life that aligns with your spirit
Staying The Course in the “Discomfort Zone”
Published on 27 May 2009 at 9:21 am.
3 Comments.
Filed under Courage Series,Feature Articles,Personal Development Strategies,Spirituality & Inspiration.
Â
Have you ever felt stretched to the limit? You believe that you cannot handle one more thing. And if something more happens that causes additional stress, pain, and anxiety…. you worry you might not be able to keep it together and you will fall apart. And if there are others depending on you to be the “strong one” the pressure to hold things together becomes even more burdensome.
You might be facing relationship challenges, struggling to grow your business, dealing with family issues, money worries, debts, divorce, or an illness. You feel tired as if you have been in a battle and you just want a break, a time out, a space for things to be easier to catch your breath, at least for a while so that you can regain your strength for what’s next.
Some part of you is certain you will crash and burn while another part of you stands strong with a knowing that the place you are in is rich with growth opportunities with long term benefits if you will just stay the course. This part whispers, “Keep going and trust that all will be well.”
In the late 1990s, I bought my first house. I had a thriving counseling business in NJ and a 90 mile round trip drive three days a week. I had been making this commute for almost ten years and I was feeling the strain of long days and late nights. The idea of rolling out of bed and walking into my home office was becoming more appealing. Purchasing a house was a perfect solution to having an investment with equity and having a home based business. So, I took the plunge.
Inside of six months, my counseling practice began to shrink which was surprising because I had continually filled open slots in a matter of hours. This time, the slots remained open and I kept hoping this was temporary. I stuck my head in the sand and hoped for the best. My practice continued to shrink and I freaked out. Fear began to intensify. I was at a loss about what to do to generate more clients. I felt confused and frightened. Things continued to worsen with bills piling up. My fear turned to terror and pain.
There were times when I was on my knees sobbing for help from God to make this situation stop. One part of me was screaming in pain and fear. Another part of me was calm and peaceful. I had the sense that the situation was a pivotal moment in my journey. I was aware that my pain and fear was a gateway to deeper healing within myself and with my relationship with God. Whether I liked my life at that time was less important to the transformational potential that I saw possible. Intuitively, I knew that if I kept going forward in faith, that all would be well. So, I took many deep breaths, called on my friends numerous times for strength, meditated, and focused on what I could control and listened to my guidance as best I could to ride this wave to what was on the other side. Some days were better than others.
It was a roller coaster ride with fear, anger, grief, calm, peace, and happiness. This period in my life was instrumental in helping me to step into higher versions of myself and reconnect with Source which was a wonderfull blessing. Shifting from a victim of circumstance to the hero of my life story is a strength and success I can now offer clients who are struggling with their own fears and terrors.
Looking backwards, I believe my discontent with weekly travel and the desire to transition my counseling practice into something else was the seeds that created my “crisis” to blossom. I wanted a change and I didn’t know to what. Boy, did I get one! “Be careful what you wish for…you might just get it!”
What I have also come to realize is that the more we struggle against Life situations, the more energy we give to it. What you resist ….persists, whether it is desired or undesired. We are Creators. Life doesn’t happen to us. We are creating all the times through our thoughts, words and actions. We can either flow with what we have created or against it. Remember The Law of Attraction?
When we come to the end of our tolerance with life situations and must take that step into a greater unknown, our mind and ego goes into a panic. Our mind believes if we take that leap and push farther outside of the safety of our comfort zone, that it’s survival is at risk. If we continue, our ego fears it will die and then what? What will happen to us? Our thoughts race with panic and perceived danger. Our self-talk paints a bleak picture of worse case scenarios with the finesse and skill of a seasoned litigator seeking to woo us back to it’s version of safety.Â
My friend Brent says many people quit five minutes before the miracle happens. They come to a point where things feel too hard, too painfull, and too uncomfortable. So they back off and return to their comfort zone.
Each person has their own breaking (and braking) point when they say, “Stop! That’s enough!” Or, they hold on to something too long that is no longer serving them so they don’t have to face choices that will be life changing. “The Devil you know is better than the Devil you don’t”. That’s what I did until I could no longer deny what was happening and had to surrender to the experience.
What are you totally committed to?
Where is your breaking/braking point?
Do you stop too soon and give up?
Do you stay too long when it’s time to let go?
What do you want so badly you are willing to do whatever it takes?
What fuels your courage and faith to stay the course no matter what?
Your past is a reflection of the choices you have already made. Each minute, each hour, and each day you make decisions that lay the groundwork for your future. I grew up believing that we never get what we can’t handle because we have come into this life fully equipped to handle whatever we create that Life gives us. Going the distance takes commitment, trust, and faith that what we feel called to be or do is sanctioned by the Universe. It’s like walking through fire and knowing that you won’t get burned.
Are your choices moving you towards the life you want or in the opposite direction?
What is it time to say YES to TODAY?
Cheers,
Lorraine
www.isayyesnow.com
www.powerfull-living.biz
http://www.powerfull-living.biz/blog/2009/05/27/staying-the-course-in-the-discomfort-zone/trackback/
Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching on 27 May 2009 at 11:36 am: 1
Thanks for this post — at the moment I’m committed to saying what’s true for me, in both my business and personal lives. It’s challenging but ultimately I get the sense that it’s healing both for me and those around me.
lorraine on 28 May 2009 at 3:36 pm: 2
Absolutely Chris
If you are not being true to who you are in all areas of your life, the people around you will get less of the real you. Why gyp them or you of your fabulous SELF?
Powerfull Living » Dealing With Fear In The “Discomfort Zone” on 5 Jun 2009 at 5:30 pm: 3
[...] few days ago I wrote about “Staying The Course in The Discomfort Zone†when we feel stretched to the limit with Life [...]