Do You Have The Courage To Let Go Of Control?
Published on 11 Nov 2008 at 6:02 am.
5 Comments.
Filed under Attraction, Courage Series, Feature Articles, Personal Development Strategies, Spirituality & Inspiration.
“As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my friend
But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone
I hung around and tried to help
In ways that were my own
At last I snatched them back and cried
How could You be so slow?
My child, He said, What could I do?
You never did let go?” - Anon
In the 12-step program, you’ll find the philosophy of “letting go and letting God”. New thought leaders repeatedly affirm the importance of allowing the “how” of our dreams and desires to be handled by God/The Universe/Higher Power. Our role is to have a clear vision, see it, feel the emotion of joyfully and gratefully having/being what we desire, eliminating the beliefs that block receiving what we want and then letting go of the unfolding of that vision to manifest for our best and highest.
Being the creator of our destiny isn’t a passive state. When we partner with the Universe we are listening to the inner guidance that flows to us in moments of meditation or inspiration to nudge us into action.
Sounds simple right?
So, are you letting go? I mean really letting go, expecting and trusting your dreams and desires to manifest?
You might say, “I’m a control freak. Letting go is very tough for me.”You’ve probably collected lots of evidence to back up your position - painful past experiences that have taught you that the only way you can stay safe and protect yourself is being in control. And you may have grown up with, ” The only one you can really depend on is YOU. You have to look out for yourself because no one else will.”
Aren’t we supposed to set goals, develop strategies, and take action to make them happen? Isn’t it up to us to take 100% responsibility for what we do to grow our business, cultivate relationships, raise children, make money….? Don’t we have to do things to have what we want?
Yes and no.
Fear is a powerful energy that can inhibit receiving the full scope of what is possible and we end up with slices of what we dream and desire. It’s like holding up your hand and yelling “stop.” while asking for more at the same time. Keeping a tight grasp on control may seem to be the answer of holding fear at bay that often results in keeping the people and things we desire at arms length. Our natural state is to connect with others. Fear of loss of control can isolate us from others, creating more pain and loneliness.
It’s a double bind and an illusion.
We can get so caught up in the stories and dramas we imagine that we hold the reins tighter. What we truly control is how we see things and how we respond to what we see. We choose to believe our stories or challenge their authenticity by looking at the facts rather than what our mind is saying as truth. Whatever we give the most attention and juice to is what we will manifest.
There are times that I’m great at standing firmly in faith and trust, tapping into my intuition and instincts to guide my thoughts and actions. And then there are those times when my reality doesn’t seem to match up with what I desire. It’s easy to step into, “What am I doing wrong? When are things going to get easier? What am I blocking that I need to clear?” Self-judgments, anger, frustration, blame…. Blah, blah, blah.
And then I have this clarity… have I actually let go for the “how” to unfold or am I hanging around putting my 2 cents in? Am I really allowing what I wish to create or going through the motions. Do I really know how to let go and let God? Am I coming from love (expansion) or fear (constriction)? Being the powerfull creator that I am, is my life experience a reflection of who I am and what is desired, or the opposite of it?
Hmmm…. lots of nos
So, what needs to shift?
Where I’m placing my attention and shifting from fear to faith
Faith is believing and knowing that all needs, wants, and desires are already fulfilled. That every prayer request has been answered the moment it is asked. Remembering that every soul is part of The Divine and we are here to experience creation. - our creation, both individually and collectively. And learning how to dance with creation so that what we do is in alignment with who we are.
7 things that help me to reconnect with my faith:
1. Meditation - silent or guided
2. Reading something inspirational
3. Feeling gratitude and appreciation for all the gifts and blessing in my life
4. Doing something loving and generous for someone else
5. Connecting with nature and my cats
6. Connecting with one of my close spiritual friends like Anita Pathik Law
7. Stopping, taking some breaths and getting present
This weekend, I began reading Neale Donald Walsch’s “Conversations with God, Book 1″. It’s been around for years and I never read it. In the book, the dialogue includes:
- Life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation (pg. 20)
- Praying for something actually pushes it away from us because the request is a statement of lack. The correct prayer is one of gratitude, a thank you in advance in appreciation for all that you wish to experience in your reality. To be truly grateful for something that isn’t there requires faith. (pg. 11)
- Judgment is an error in thinking and results in pain. Remove the judgment and the pain disappears (pg 37)
- The first step in changing anything is to know and accept you have chosen it to be what it is (pg 36). This can be a tough one for folks because it means letting go of blame and taking 100% responsibility for your creation.
- The process of creation begins with thought. The second level is word and the third level is action. (pg 74). Are your thoughts, words, and action creating what is desired or undesired?
Personally, I’m focusing on cultivating my faith and trust by keeping my attention of love, gratitude, and being of service to others while staying true to ‘Who I am ” as I know myself to be in every moment of every day. And I’m staying open to recognize the subtle and obvious ways my fear comes out as control that causes constriction rather than expansion. All the energy going into needing to be in control is exhausting!
This is my journey of remembering and re-creation. Neale writes, “Feeling is the language of the soul,” and I want to feel it all. That what being alive is!
How about you? Join me?
PS. I’m interviewing Neale Donald Walsch on December 11 to talk about his new book, “Happier Than God.” Click here to learn more.
Join my weekly Spiritual Support Circle on Wednesday through the end of the year. Learn more
Cheers,
Lorraine
www.powerful-living.biz
Lola Fayemi / Nourishment for your spiritual awakening on 12 Nov 2008 at 8:00 am: 1
I really hear you on this Lorraine! I love the poem at the beginning and can never hear it enough. Following on from something I heard Oprah say, I recently decided to get out of the way and let God get on with it.
“Personally, I’m focusing on cultivating my faith and trust by keeping my attention of love, gratitude, and being of service to others while staying true to ‘Who I am ” as I know myself to be in every moment of every day. And I’m staying open to recognize the subtle and obvious ways my fear comes out as control that causes constriction rather than expansion.”
ME TOO!
As a former control freak, I understand why letting go is hard for people, but in reality being in control is an illusion. As you say “What we truly control is how we see things and how we respond to what we see” and while we’re busy trying to control everything else, we miss controlling the very things we can control.
In love, light and abundance x x x
lorraine on 12 Nov 2008 at 8:02 pm: 2
I’m smiling as I read your comments Lola
I think letting go is tough for many of us. I have found that the more I trust, the less fear I have to try to control things. That’s where I’m placing my attention.
xoxoxo
Lorraine
The Meaning of Existence (and all that): The Odd Little Universe of Daniel Brenton » Gratitude Watch - 2008-11-11 on 30 Nov 2008 at 11:08 pm: 3
[...] Cohen at Powerfull Living offers “Do You Have The Courage To Let Go Of Control?” She asserts that being the creator of our destiny isn’t a passive state, and that [...]
Heather on 11 Dec 2008 at 12:27 am: 4
But how does one “let go?” What is the mental process that takes place to let go? How does one situate or prepare them self to let go?
lorraine on 11 Dec 2008 at 5:47 pm: 5
Dear Heather
You might enjoy Guy Finley’s book, The Secret of Letting Go.” It’s fabulous and has some great insights on how to release resistance and fears so that you can experience life with greater ease and joy.
You might also want to look at my program with Anita Pathik Law, Aligning with Destiny: http://www.aligningwithdestiny.com
See what you think!
Blessings,
Lorraine