Flattered Into Saying Yes
Published on 3 Nov 2008 at 7:50 am.
3 Comments.
Filed under Business Development, Feature Articles, Personal Development Strategies, Savvy Marketing Tips.
Who doesn’t like their ego stroked? I know I do! In fact, there are times I just eat it up. Being acknowledged and feeling appreciated feels great, doesn’t it?
Growing your business involves marketing yourself in a variety of ways including:
- Creating a strong online presence and positioning yourself as an expert
- Writing and publishing articles
- Public speaking appearances
- Having a blog
- Creating products and programs
- Guest interviews
- Becoming a show host
- Writing a book
- Joint venture partnerships
Invitations begin to come in for your services, knowledge, and skills. I’m often asked to do presentations for groups both online and offline, become a featured blogger, contribute articles, offer bonuses for product launches and the inclusion can feel great especially when your name is associated with some very cool people.
Receiving recognition, compliments, and acknowledgment for accomplishment and contribution can be heartwarming.
Here’s where it can get a bit tricky….
Sometimes our ego and our needs get in the way of good judgment especially if there are some underlying beliefs about our self-worth and value which, is a hot button for many people. When self-esteem is low, compliments, flattery, and acknowledgements can be food to a hungry heart.
For example, a colleague of mine was invited to present at a major conference for professionals in her industry in Dubai. Once a year, this particular group has an annual meeting that a pretty big deal. They pick different locations and this time, the program board chose Dubai. My colleague was so flattered to be asked that she was tempted to say yes right on the spot.
She called me to discuss the offer and she was very excited about going …….until we started talking. Looking more closely at what saying “yes” really meant, she realized that, while the invitation was a compliment, it was not a good business decision. Had she impulsively said yes, she would have been in awkward position to back out of her agreement.
Last year I was invited to partner with an organization that sponsors some well-known speakers to present a teleseminar. The roster of past teleclass leaders was impressive and I was flattered that they contacted me to invite me to participate. In the initial conversation, I felt excited about the potential relationship with them. Knowing that I can lose perspective at times, I called a friend and colleague to see if she knew about this company. When we talked about the logistics and the financials, it was a better deal for them than it was for me. So, I passed. If it’s not a mutual win-win, it’s not a good deal.
An important factor in making the best choice is asking the right questions to insure you have the information to make a sound, clear decision rather than an emotionally charged one.
Have you ever said yes to something that wasn’t in your best interest because you felt flattered?
Have you ever agreed to something out of gratitude for acknowledgement or recognition?
I admit I can answer yes to both questions. In the past I have agreed to things because I felt flattered. Now, when I’m approached by folks who call or email me with invitations, I can recognize when I’m leaning towards an impulsive yes and I know what to do to shift to a more objective space.
Tip: If you know you have a tendency to make impulsive decisions that often lead to regrets, make a promise to yourself to wait at least 24 hours before saying yes to anything (barring an emergency) to be sure your choice is the best one to make for you.
If you are still unsure, stick with a no until you are clear. Don’t let anyone or anything pressure you into a decision you don’t feel good or right with. Regrets leave a sour taste.
Have a great day 
Lorraine
www.powerfull-living.biz
Bihter on 3 Nov 2008 at 12:34 pm: 1
Hi Lorraine,
Just wanted to say that I’ve started reading your blog. I’m wondering if you have heard about the book, “What Men Don’t Tell Women About Business”. I heard the guy (Chris Flett) on the Today Show and thought you probably have already heard of him. I’m wondering what your thoughts were. He seems to be really taking on the ‘Old Boys Club”. I just emailed him, but haven’t heard back.
Anyway, keep up the great writing.
Best,
Bihter.
lorraine on 3 Nov 2008 at 4:12 pm: 2
Hi Bihter
Welcome to reading my blog. I’m not familiar with that book by Chris Flett. It’s hard to keep up with all of the great books out there!
Good for you in emailing him. I hope he emails you back.
Warmly,
Lorraine
Bihter on 11 Nov 2008 at 7:58 am: 3
Hi Lorraine,
I’ve been doing some additional research on the author, Chris Flett, that I talked about on my last comment. His company is “GhostCEO” (www.GhostCEO.com) and his book is a bestseller. I found it on Amazon here. Anyway, he was in the NY Times last Sunday under the “Career Couch” and he makes reference to women’s blogs like yours so I thought you might like to connect. I’d like to see you interview him and see what he’s all about. I saw on another blog he was a guest blogger. His email is: chris@ghostceo.com
Best wishes,
Bihter.