Coaching Tip: Being A Great Receiver
Published on 14 Jul 2008 at 4:46 am.
9 Comments.
Filed under Attraction, Coaching Tips, Feature Articles, Personal Development Strategies.
“Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate or value into your life”. -Christiane Northrup
In a prior coaching tip I wrote about “Knowing When to Get Help” and I talked about the importance of asking for help when you need it.
What about the times when people reach out to you? What do you do?
I hear people say, “I’m a very giving person.” I can hear a sense of pride and self-esteem expressed with their statement. People who are great givers, ones who are always there for others, are often admired for being loving and self-less in their generosity with others. When I ask them how good they are at allowing others to give to them, they often say, “I have trouble receiving. I’m better at giving.”
What givers miss seeing is that when they block the flow of good coming back to them by being unwilling, uncomfortable, and unavailable receivers, they are blocking the flow to all kinds of abundance including money.
For example:
- Refusing unsolicited help. How often do you say, “No thanks I’m fine. I can handle it” and turn help away?
- Diminishing compliments, praise, or acknowledgments. Do you say ” Thank you” and take in the compliment or do you find some way to push it away. Ya know, “oh, this old thing” or pointing out something negative about yourself to shift the focus. I recall complimenting a friend about a great accomplishment and she quickly changed the subject to talk about where she felt she didn’t do well. The next time someone says something nice, take a breath, say thank you and stop talking. Just take it in and appreciate it.
- Deflecting and pushing away gifts. when feeling grateful you feel you have to do something in return to ease the feelings of discomfort or repay to balance things
I have some very generous people in my circle of friends. They offer me their time, expertise, wisdom, and connections. There are times I feel overwhelmed and wonder if I have become more of a receiver than a giver. The truth is that there are times we might give more and receive less and vice versa. It’s an ebb and flow without a scorecard. I look at my community as a circular flow of sharing. At times I have I feel overwhelmed with gratitude that I have to stop myself from repaying them in some way to allow their gifts to be fully embraced.
I’m reminded of a comment my mother made to me years ago when I was refusing some financial help from her. I recall her saying, ”If it brings me pleasure and joy and I have it, why do you deny me that experience” Ouch.
The next time someone says something nice, take a breath, say thank you and stop talking. Feel the love and take it into your heart with appreciation.
The next time someone offers to do something for you (that you would like), let them.
The next time someone gives you a gift (as a gesture of love in the spirit of giving) smile and open your arms to accept their love.
To be a great giver you must be a great receiver. If you are working with The Law of Attraction, consider the Universal symbol of a circle. What goes around, goes around.
How many ways are you telling people and The Universe, “No, thank you?”
What are you ready to STOP saying no to?
What are you ready to say YES to?
Have a great week 
Lorraine
www.powerfull-living.biz
Ari Koinuma on 14 Jul 2008 at 1:04 pm: 1
Agreed — not being able to receive is a common symptom of low self-esteem. You just don’t feel that you deserve it, and it makes you uncomfortable.
ari
lorraine on 14 Jul 2008 at 1:14 pm: 2
That’s why becoming a great receiver is so important Ari
I believe that the most powerfull energy is Love and when we can let that love in, our pains can be healed and transformed. That’s a daily focus of mine - to uncover the subtle ways I might be pushing love away so that I can become a better receiver!
Blessings,
Lorraine
Al at 7P on 14 Jul 2008 at 10:28 pm: 3
So true… if someone is inherently a giver, it goes against their nature to receive. It’s ok to receive love - we sometimes gotta remind ourselves!
lorraine on 15 Jul 2008 at 7:53 am: 4
It’s a learned perception Al
We associate it too often with being self-ish and see self-lessness as a virtue.
Not only do we ned reminders, we need to to expand our thinking to see receiving as a value and give ourselves permission to receive good in all forms.
How good a receiver are you Al?
Cheers,
Lorraine
Al at 7P on 15 Jul 2008 at 8:38 am: 5
In all honesty, I’m not that good in being a receiver. I feel uncomfortable, but it’s a reaction that needs to be kept in check.
Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Map on 15 Jul 2008 at 9:33 am: 6
I’ve always got a problem with receiving presents. I feel as if I have to “earn” it somehow. But since coming to know about the idea of receiving-and-giving as a circular flow, I’m slowly learning that I should just accept gifts graciously.
Great article! Stumbled!
Evelyn
lorraine on 15 Jul 2008 at 1:30 pm: 7
I can understand the discomfort Al
When I’m deflecting, I can connect it to feelings of self-worth - believing I’m unlovable or unworthy. That’s a story I have been aligned with that I have been transforming as my connection to my spirit/The Universe expands.
When you step out of the old stories into a new space of Truth, your life experience opens to so much more abundance and joy both in giving and receiving.
Here’s to letting the love in!
Lorraine
lorraine on 15 Jul 2008 at 1:45 pm: 8
The idea of “earning” gifts is one many people struggle with Evelyn
I just returned from lunch and my friend treated me. I felt a little tug and accepted her generosity with love and joy. I know she loves to things like that and I want to allow her that joy without feeling that next time we go out, It has to be my treat.
I get a thrill out of being spontaneously generous in the moment because it bring me joy to express my love. I sense others feel that way too. Why block that? It’s all about receiving love because of who we are, rather than what we do. Unconditional, ya know?
I’m still learning….
Love to you,
Lorraine
Powerfull Living » Saying Yes To Love on 29 Apr 2009 at 10:23 am: 9
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