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Keeping Everyone Happy – A Job To Change Or Quit
Published on 23 Apr 2008 at 10:47 am.
16 Comments.
Filed under Feature Articles,Personal Development Strategies,Silly musings and chuckles,Spirituality & Inspiration.
Here’s one of the most popular jobs (or roles) that stays filled in any economy. Perhaps it’s one you have too?
Keeping Everyone Happy
Job Description – This is a part-time to full time position depending upon the needs of the individual or group you are responsible for. Situations include: managing conflicts, group plans, and interpersonal relationships. Person typically operates solo with the possibility of sporadic assistance. No guarantees.
Requirements
You must have the ability to:
- Read minds
- Creatively problem-solve
- Anticipate needs
- Resolve conflicts quickly
- Keep the peace
- Figure out how to fix things
You must also possess degrees of mental/emotional and physical dexterity to:
- Put out fires
- Turn yourself inside out or upside down
- Spin on a dime
- Place yourself on the back burner
- Bend over backwards
- Turn the other cheek with a smile
- Let things roll off your back, and
- Carry others on your shoulders.
(love the cliches! )
You must be reachable in case of an emergency (or a perceived one), so keep your cell phone on. Communications skills are a plus, although not required. Working vacations are not uncommon.
On the job-training is offered. This is a volunteer position with variable benefits.
Applicants welcome. Job fills quickly.
While I meant this article to be funny, I’m serious about the topic. Taking on this role can be very costly to your health, self-esteem, well-being, quality of life……… There is a difference between supporting someone to create their own happiness and assuming that responsibility is yours to bear.
~ If your desire is to help others by being in service to them, how will you accomplish that if you intervene in an attempt to save them from an experience?
~ How do you know what that person might need to learn in order to become the person they are meant to be?
~ Do you assume the responsibility of deciding what someone needs to experience? (PSST - we call that helping when it’s really to ease our own discomfort at being a witness. I call that arrogance and playing God.)
Do you already have this job (role)?
Is it time to give it up or change your position? 
Have a great day
Cheers,
Lorraine
www.powerfull-living.biz
Brennan Kingsland on 23 Apr 2008 at 3:31 pm: 1
Dear Lorraine,
After 60 years, I’m still at the apprentice stage. It’s so hard to find qualified journeymen. TeeHee!
lorraine on 23 Apr 2008 at 3:55 pm: 2
Oh honey, we need to talk LOL
Cheers
ABG on 24 Apr 2008 at 2:39 pm: 3
wouldn’t it be nice if everyone we knew would accept their share of that job description so that others didn’t have to take the lions share
as it is, forming a defined set of personal boundaries is the only way to insulate yourself from the outrageous expectations of others
lorraine on 24 Apr 2008 at 2:52 pm: 4
Dear ABG
I think having healthy boundaries is a good thing. We must teach others how to treat us by modeling that behavior.
Win-win for everyone
Cheers
Lorraine
Darlene Norris on 24 Apr 2008 at 5:19 pm: 5
I have a very dear friend who does all this and more. She’s always trying to solve every problem and be all things to her family. The last straw for me was when we were 90 miles from home, and one of her kids called to tell her the horse got out! I asked, “what do they expect YOU to do about it? TURN OFF THAT CELL PHONE!” And she finally did.
I’ve gently pointed out that this is not a good thing, and she admits it, but her need to be needed outweighs everything else. It’s a shame, because she’s such a sweet person and a wonderful friend.
lorraine on 24 Apr 2008 at 5:48 pm: 6
It’s a tough role people take on that carries a high cost. I work quite a bit with people to transform fear and self-worth issues and I see the impact it has on people’s lives.
Keep those gentle nudges going as long as she seems to be receptive. You’re a good friend Darlene.
Warmly,
Lorraine
Terry on 26 Apr 2008 at 11:48 am: 7
I once held a position like the one you describe, but have since retired. I should say “attempted” to retire as I’m often called back to work there. For some time after, people still associated me with that sort of work but their persistence has faded in recent years. Some people who never knew me in that position find it hard to believe I had such an experience, but they don’t see the remnant, which I try carefully to conceal.
It’s a difficult job to leave behind, and I have to resubmit my resignation letter from time to time.
lorraine on 26 Apr 2008 at 6:12 pm: 8
LOL Terry
I hear ya! There can be a fine line between supporting someone else when it feels right and taking on a job.
I loved your comment about needing to submit a resignation letter!
Here’s to you!
Lorraine
Gwyneth McNeil on 29 Apr 2008 at 6:12 am: 9
When I find myself feeling overwhelmed in a situation where I’m trying to be supportive to another person, sometimes I have to step back and ask myself, “Who seems to be doing the most work here?” That usually puts things in perspective.
lorraine on 29 Apr 2008 at 8:56 am: 10
Great question Gwyneth!
Sounds like you have a healthy self-esteem.
Thanks for your thoughtful comment
Warmly,
Lorraine
Personal Development Carnival: Issue 39 | The Next 45 Years on 18 May 2008 at 6:36 am: 11
[...] Keeping Everyone Happy – A Job to Quit or Change by Lorraine Cohen [...]
ideal4investors on 18 May 2008 at 10:30 am: 12
Yes– I have that job description and no wonder I am so tired!
lorraine on 18 May 2008 at 4:16 pm: 13
LOL – is it time to give it up?
Cheers,
Lorraine
Nancy Bolle on 22 Sep 2008 at 5:42 am: 14
WHoa! Loved this post and saw so much of myself in it. I mean, I “know” all this keep everyone happy stuff is a crock, at least I do know it between my ears, but I still have problems “knowing” it in my fingertips, find myself wanting to “fix” everything for everyone even when it means dis-fixing myself at times. Wonderful reminder, midear.
lorraine on 22 Sep 2008 at 7:22 am: 15
Thanks Nancy
This is one of my favorite posts. My intention is to make it into a video with a longer message.
I just wrote a post on compassionate detachment you might also enjoy:
http://www.powerfull-living.biz/blog/2008/09/17/how-you-can-support-someone-with-compassionate-detachment/
Thanks for adding your comments!
Have a great week
Cheers
Lorraine
Powerfull Living » Three Key FEARS That Drive People Nuts When Making Decisions, Part 3 on 4 Apr 2011 at 8:54 am: 16
[...] Is your goal to make decisions that please EVERYONE? (read my article post on Keeping Everyone Happy) [...]