Letting Go Of the Guilt When You Need to Change Priorities
Published on 1 Apr 2008 at 8:18 am.
14 Comments.
Filed under Feature Articles, Personal Development Strategies.
Yesterday I was intending to go on an overnight trip to visit my friend (and business partner) Anita Pathik - Law and observe a business seminar today with my colleague Karen Tax and my IAM team in MD.
I awoke with a scratchy throat felt myself dragging. The question was, “Do I push through whatever might be going on physically since it was only overnight or listen to what my body might be saying?”
I was looking forward to doing some creative and fun stuff with Anita. I also felt that my presence at the seminar today would be important. I’m part of a leadership team and I wanted to see the delivery of the information in a group format.
What to do?? and the guilt started creeping in….
Should I go? Was I making a big deal? It was just overnight! Maybe I should just go? Maybe I’m supposed to go and I’m meant to be persistent. Blah, blah, blah.
I called Anita who immediately said, “Let go of any guilt and pay attention to your self-care. We’ll have many more opportunities to get together. ”
My friend Karen said the same thing. She knows I have been pushing my schedule pretty hard busily creating content for my Aligning With Destiny Program with Anita. When you have your own business, there are times when you’re working long hours especially when developing new material!
I’m a believer and advocate of prioritizing self-care as being a critical element is being at your best in your life and in your business. I am practically a broken record on the subject. In fact, I have bragged many times about how good I am at taking care of myself in lots of ways as a part of my daily regime.
So, here I was shifting priorities to attend to my needs and I was feeling guilty! I found myself defending my position to folks who supported me fully in taking care of ME.
It’s ok to shift priorities when you really need to. That’s what being in the flow is about. Listening and following where you feel guided to go rather than trying to go against your instincts, intuition, or needs. It takes time to develop and trust that muscle of distinguishing between avoidance and following your heart especially when guilt creeps in. Guilt is really fear.
I realized that my fear in canceling my plans was losing love and approval from two close friends and colleagues. Nothing was farther from the truth!
~ Do you know that it is ok to change your mind or your plans?
~ What might you be saying yes to instead of no because of feeling guilty?
~ What priorities might need to change?
~ What are you ready to give yourself permission to have that you have been denying?
Sometimes, we have to show up despite how we are feeling. Some commitments may be difficult to change for a variety of reasons. You have to make the call and weigh the decision in each situation.
As for me, rescheduling was the right choice. I’ve made my chicken soup, taken some homeopathic remedy for a cold, and picked up some Sudafed just in case I’m shutting down my computer and taking the rest of the day off (maybe tomorrow too!). I’m listening to my body and making my self-care the only priority for today. Thankfully, I have nothing pressing that can’t wait!
No guilt. No apologies.
Have a great day! 
Lorraine
www.powerfull-living.biz
Gamy Racehl on 1 Apr 2008 at 9:46 am: 1
Awe…you are under the weather huh, sweetheart.
Take good care now of yourself now.
Pump up lots of Vitamin C, drink lots of water and SLEEP!
Blessings
Gamy
lorraine on 1 Apr 2008 at 3:09 pm: 2
Will do Gamy!
Cheers,
Lorraine
Jeanne May on 1 Apr 2008 at 8:23 pm: 3
Hi Lorraine… hope you’re feeling better really soon!
So many of us face what you have talked about… guilt when we need to change commitments. I learnt the hard way to listen to my body a lot more and take it seriously. Sometimes it’s better to give in to what your body is saying than ignore it and end up being sick for a lot longer than if you had done the right thing by yourself initially!
Warm wishes
Jeanne
lorraine on 2 Apr 2008 at 9:49 am: 4
Many thanks Jeanne
I agree with your point about how important it is to listen to your body. Resting for the past two days and doing some work has really helped. It seems so simple - just listen!
Cheers,
Lorraine
Gina Rafkind on 2 Apr 2008 at 7:35 pm: 5
Hi Lorraine,
Hope you feel better real soon. I’ve had the same predicament many times since my full-time job has been a hairstylist for the past 16 years and speak of feeling guilty for being sick and letting all my clients down for not coming in! This has been a huge practice for me. I was sick just two weeks ago and now I can just call them to cancel with no guilt whatsoever-or if guilt tries to rear its ugly head I catch it with my awareness and say, ‘oh, it’s my ego trying to take me over again!’ Once I bring that negative feeling, or any ego-generated feeling into my awareness, it’s gone. If a client reacts to my cancelling in a negative way, I can’t help that-now I realize I can only change myself and that my presence can help others to be able to change themselves.
Be well,
Gina
lorraine on 2 Apr 2008 at 7:59 pm: 6
Thanks Gina
I enjoy good health most of the time when folks around me are getting sick. So, when I’m not feeling at my best, It’s almost a surprise and I have to pull back and honor what my body needs.
So true about recognizing the voice inside that is judging and being loving with yourself.
“We must be the change we wish to see in the world” - Mahatma Ghandi
Thanks for the support and reminders!
Take good care yourself!
Blessings,
Lorraine
Alex Blackwell on 3 Apr 2008 at 8:55 pm: 7
Great post Lorraine - one of my favorites. It can be hard to give ourselves Grace. We are so quick to give it to others. Your article is a great reminder that we sometimes need to save some medicine for ourselves.
Goal Setting College on 3 Apr 2008 at 9:42 pm: 8
Hey Lorraine, take good care of yourself! I know what it means to overwork at times (I often do, too!)… sometimes your anxiety to take things to a flying start can be rather straining on your body. Take a good break, have lot of rest and I’m sure you’ll get back the groove soon!
Cheers,
Ellesse
lorraine on 4 Apr 2008 at 9:38 am: 9
Thanks Alex and Ellesse,
I can see how much I need the break as my mood has been a bit down which is not uncommon when I am stretched too far and needing self-care.
Good reminders for us all!
Enjoy your weekend!
Cheers,
Lorraine
Evelyn on 5 Apr 2008 at 1:35 am: 10
Hi Lorraine,
Whether it’s been for just 1 night or not, if your body does not appear well, it is a sign to you that your body needs a rest. I know I’ve been guilty of this myself - pushing on even though the signs are there. Look at it this way: it may only take you a day to recover if you take the rest now but more if you decide to tax yourself further.
Take care,
Evelyn
lorraine on 5 Apr 2008 at 8:03 am: 11
So true Evelyn
It’s a challenge when you work for yourself and there are things to do. Compromising with some work and more rest has definitely helped.
Have a great weekend
Cheers,
Lorraine
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