fulfilling life that aligns with your spirit
Five Critical Ingredients for Business and Personal Success
Published on 17 Mar 2008 at 3:14 pm.
12 Comments.
Filed under Business Development,Feature Articles,Personal Development Strategies,Spirituality & Inspiration.
What have you been talking about that you’ve been intending to do, or have done to a limited extent? Is there something you desire to have that you don’t have now?
For example: I’ve been talking about getting back to a regular exercise routine to support some weight loss. About 10 days ago I decided to stop talking about it and just do it. I was getting bored with myself singing the same old song! Well, knowing myself pretty well, I know having a few things in place insures my ability to succeed.
Here’s my personal formula and one I use with clients:
1. Reframe your intention into one that is compelling and desirable. I laugh when I hear commercials and folks talk about how much fun exercise is. oh, please. Maybe for some people but not for me, no matter what kind of exercise it is. So, to strengthen my commitment, I choose to look at exercise as a loving action that keeps me healthy, physically flexible (ease of movement) and energized so I can put my attention on the people and things I care about. That’s more inviting to me than thinking about getting up and exercising!
2. Make a decision to do it. There’s a difference between saying you want to do something and committing to it. I hear people say they’ll try and what they means if they have one foot in and one foot out. You’re either on board or you’re not. Before you make a decision to have something, gain clarity about the benefits of having it (money, more time, a relationship) – why is (whatever) important to you? Why do you want it? What will “having it” bring you that you don’t have now? The clearer you are on the value of receiving, the stronger the commitment.
3. Remove any limiting beliefs and negative self-talk. Pay attention to the reasons, excuses, and distractions that come up to let something slide or discount it’s importance to you. “I don’t have time, I’ll do this later,” allowing distractions and other busy stuff to crowd your schedule will quickly pull you away from your desires. Personally, I advocate getting to know yourself well so that you can uncover underlying beliefs and behaviors that sabotage success. The benefits include healing, personal transformation, increased self worth, self-love and self-trust. That’s a big piece of the work I do personally and with my clients. I’m also blessed to have some talented friends and colleagues who help me when I need to deal with some sensitive issues. Read my post of calming inner chatter here.
4. Tell people what you intend to do. Make your commitment public to selective folks. Enlist their support in your success. A colleague of mine wants to start dating after years of being out of a relationship. She took a deep breath and told friends and some strangers to request introductions to any potential men they might know. She said it was both scary and exhilarating. I told a few of my friends and my mastermind group about recommitting to regular exercise and healthier eating. I asked them to hold the vision of my success. And, I just made my commitment public to you.
5. Accountability. Let’s face it, we’re often gung ho when we first commit to any inspired action and we can lose steam quickly and fall back into familiar patterns. We can reframe, make a decision to commit (as best we can), do the inner work to remove roadblocks (personal transformation is an ongoing journey) and still hit some bumps (or boulders) along the way.
Can you imagine a winning sports team playing to empty stands. Our fans can inspire and motivate us when we need a boost or want to share a victory. They are also there when we need to push through resistance and discomfort. Having accountability to someone who cheers you on, tells you the truth, calls you on your stuff, nudges you forward (or gives you a kick in the pants) in a respectful and loving way, we can become even stronger in our resolve.
Who do you have to hold you accountable?
That’s one of the reasons people hire me – to provide accountability and hold them to their best. When clients leave a coaching session, they have agreed to take certain actions before our next session. It’s not unusual for them to tell me they completed an action the day before or in the last few hours so they could celebrate with me. They admit they don’t want to come to the session and say they didn’t do something they agreed to do. It’s about being in integrity with yourself – keeping agreements and promises. Read my posts on integrity, Part 1, Part 2 & Part 3)
Not only did I enlist the support of my Mastermind group, I also buddied with a close friend. Each day I recommit to my intention and when I complete a work out and do well with my healthier eating, I email her. She sends me emails with smiley faces. When we speak throughout the week, I tell her how I’m doing and she cheers me on. I’m continuing to do my inner work so that I stay open to any underlying sabotage.
Everyday that I stay true to my intentions and commitment, I feel great. That’s the best feeling.
What are you ready to commit to?
Leave me a comment and make it public. Come back and tell me how you’re doing!
To your success!
Lorraine
www.powerfull-living.biz
David Rogers on 18 Mar 2008 at 4:30 pm: 1
I read research earlier this year that whilst women benefit from telling friends and others their goals, men need more inner accountability and motivation. I partially agree with this, but think we do need to work out what support we need and how we will get it.
lorraine on 18 Mar 2008 at 5:42 pm: 2
Hi David,
I’m unsure what you mean when you say inner accountability. I see people sustain motivation and focus when their inner foundation – self-esteem, positive stimulus, physical environement etc and having external support. Many men internalize so much and do not add outside support (having a team ) when they need it. We are much stronger when we have a balance between the two, in my opinion
Cheers,
Lorraine
Evelyn on 18 Mar 2008 at 10:03 pm: 3
What a great idea! To have a mastermind group and a close friend for support. I will most certainly look into this tip!
Thanks,
Evelyn
Robert Greenshields on 19 Mar 2008 at 4:57 am: 4
Hi Lorraine
Thanks for this great list. I specially like the first one about the need to reframe your intention into something compelling. It’s failure to do that that makes most people give up.
Best regards
Robert
lorraine on 19 Mar 2008 at 7:43 am: 5
Thanks Evelyn
I have found that having several forms of support can be very useful. We get different things from each!
Hi Robert
The reframing piece for me makes a big difference. It brings in passion, excitement and bumps up the motivation. Thanks for stopping by!
Have a terrific day
Lorraine
David on 19 Mar 2008 at 12:27 pm: 6
Lorraine,
This is a great list, I have to agree with you about the exercise. I don’t do it because it’s fun, I do it for the people that need me here. I think your mastermind group is a great idea, if you can’t do it alone than strength in numbers will get you going!
lorraine on 19 Mar 2008 at 2:52 pm: 7
Thanks David
Personally I like the combination of self motivation and surrounding myself with cheerleaders who keep me at my best.
In regard to exercise, I also hope you do it for the benefits you derive and not just to be here for others, yes?
Have a great day
Warmly,
Lorraine
Gina on 23 Mar 2008 at 7:40 pm: 8
Hi Lorraine,
Great post! Most of the time (dealing with exercise and/or projects I need to complete) I have to make the decision and commit and just DO it. If I end up hesitating, then I think of the feeling I’ll have when I’m done, realizing and remembering how good I’ll feel afterwards, whether it be finishing my workout or completing a project. Like you said too, having a support person or group would definitely help as well.
Thanks for sharing.
Gina
lorraine on 24 Mar 2008 at 8:57 am: 9
That’s a great way to look at things Gina
When we focus on all that we’ll receive from doing something that might not be fun, then the desire becomes more compelling.
Thanks for continuing to stop by and share your thoughts!
Warmly,
Lorraine
Tom Volkar / Delightful Work on 25 Mar 2008 at 12:49 pm: 10
I appreciate the tips in this article. Especially the one about making your declaration public. There is a delicious energy that drives the completion when we tell others our boldest intentions.
lorraine on 25 Mar 2008 at 1:23 pm: 11
Thanks Tom,
I was planning on popping over to your blog and see what you’re up to!
I do love the way you say things – a delicious energy is a great way to think about stepping forward.
I’m still slipping and sliding a bit and it is an intention I’m on board with! Thanks for your support.
Blessings,
Lorraine
Agel Enterprises on 4 Jun 2008 at 3:39 am: 12
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