What’s Your Story?
Published on 6 Mar 2008 at 8:24 am.
6 Comments.
Filed under Feature Articles, Personal Development Strategies, Spirituality & Inspiration.
We’re all great story tellers. One of the talents our minds possess is the ability to imagine and create stories around any life situation or person. We learn this skill as children in our desire to make sense of our experiences. We learn to fill in the blanks when we are missing pieces of information. Over time creating stories has become a habit even whether we have the full picture or not. It is natural to place our individual interpretation and spin on what we perceive and experience. We add drama to our stories by the amount of emotional juice and intensity we give them to make them seem more real and alive.
Over the years, I’ve begun to pay attention to the mental chatter in my head as I launch into thinking about things. Aside from using the brilliance of my mind 
I have found that much of my thinking process is involved in creating stories about people and situations.
Here’s an example: A few years ago I was at a large personal development conference with over 2000 people doing some pretty intense emotional releasing, healing and transformation work with shifting beliefs. During exercises, we broke into partners and folks moved around the room to work at different tables. On my group table I had an adorable clock that was a favorite of mine. When I returned to my table, the clock was gone. I was convinced someone stole it and the stories I began to make up in my head! The more attention and energy I gave to my stories, the angrier I became, not to mention the stress and tension in my body. Oh, the drama!!!
I was stuck in that mindset and called a trainer to help me. After about 20 minutes of spiraling around in my story, the trainer suggested that somebody might have borrowed it and forgotten which table it belonged to. My mouth dropped open. That thought never occurred to me. I had become too attached to being the victim.
A few minutes later one of my friends from our group table walked over with a great big smile as she held my clock in her hands. It had been turned in to the area designated as Lost & Found. At once I realized that what the trainer had suggested was what had happened. You can imagine how I felt!
That was a great experience for me and a reminder that, when I catch myself creating my story, I need to step back and look at the bigger picture. I must be willing to question my assumptions to see if they are real or false.
What are your favorite stories and dramas? Which ones do you create most often?
What stories do you tell yourself that you believe are 100% true? About yourself, others, or the world?
What affect do your stories have on your life? Your relationships/friendships? Your business? You?
How do you use your stories and dramas to your advantage? There’s always a payoff - positive and negative gains.
How would your life change if you were to give up and let go of your story and create a different drama? What would be possible?
My invitation to you is to pay attention to the stories and dramas you create in your life. Be willing to questions the assumptions you might be making. Be open to explore how your story might be false. Remember that when we are hungry, angry, lonely, and tired, reactions and misunderstandings become more prevalent.
If you do over-react, be compassionate with yourself. That’s part of being human! Make amends if needed and learn from your experience. That’s how we grow!
Have a terrific day
Cheers,
Lorraine
www.powerfull-living.biz
The Story Lady on 6 Mar 2008 at 1:11 pm: 1
Hello from The Story Lady! Truly, that’s how I’m known.
I used to have a story that I didn’t even know was running in the background. My story was about not being valuable. It came from working in poverty mindset teaching and nonprofit jobs where I shaped minds and showed people how to gain new skills and transform their lives for piddly compensation.
Once I started learning about marketing and business, I discovered how the old story was holding me back, and I came to understand that I provide huge value in the marketplace.
Now I teach people to connect with anyone quickly through the power of your story and to change the story in your head to transform your life.
I’ve learned that whatever story I tell myself is true from the inside, but that my perceptions may or may not be accurate. Just as you discovered a much different story about your clock, the story is more important and more real than the actual event.
I also talk about this in my book The Kama Sutra of Storytelling, Positioning, Power and Profit.
Thanks for a great post.
Ronda
lorraine on 6 Mar 2008 at 4:04 pm: 2
I have found that separating the facts from the story is an important element in being able to broaden perspective. As long as we believe the stories we imagine as true, we cannot see the whole picture or the possibilities.
Thanks for adding your thoughts Rhonda!
Cheers,
Lorraine
The Story Lady on 6 Mar 2008 at 4:12 pm: 3
Right! That’s a great reality check. Get the facts, find out what’s true and what’s the internal “head stuff.”
That means getting feedback instead of replaying bad head movies on your brain TV.
Ronda
Evelyn on 6 Mar 2008 at 9:54 pm: 4
I’ve got to admit that the stories in my head can be so convincing that I could win a Nobel prize for them.
But you’re right. We need to learn to step aside and give things the benefit of doubt. I tell myself now everyday to see the beauty in things. If things do not fall into place or can be challenging, I choose to believe that they will work out in the end or that there could be some important life lessons in there.
Thanks for your post!
Evelyn
lorraine on 7 Mar 2008 at 8:02 am: 5
LOL Evelyn
We can create such masterpieces or nightmares in our dramas.
Being open to question things as being true is a great place to start. Having faith and trust that every life experience in an opportunity to heal and grow, having gratitude for all we have and choosing to see what is beautiful are great ways to see ourselves and our life.
Thanks for adding your thoughtfulness.
Here’s to creating more pleasant stories!
Blessings,
Lorraine
lorraine on 7 Mar 2008 at 8:05 am: 6
I find stopping to ask - is it true?, which is a favorite question from Byron Katie’s work, helps to do that reality check.
Have a terrific day Ronda
Best,
Lorraine