3 Sure-Fire Tips to Turn Off Your Negative Mental Chatter
Published on 18 Feb 2008 at 7:19 am.
26 Comments.
Filed under Feature Articles, Personal Development Strategies.
One of the biggest complaints I hear people say is that they can’t seem to turn off their thoughts especially when their self-talk is negative or punishing. What you might not realize is that you are the creator of your inner chatter which puts you in the perfect position to choose to amplify, modify or eliminate what you are saying inside your head.
You might be thinking, “I’ve tried and I can’t seem to turn it off completely. It stops for a second or two and comes right back.” When lost in mental chatter which can feel like you’re on a runaway train, practicing dis-engaging from negative self-talk takes time. In fact, it’s an ongoing practice.
If you are focused on replaying the events of the past (including something that might have just happened minutes ago which is still the PAST!) or imagining distressing things that might happen in the future, coming back to the present moment is critical.
Years ago, a common approach was doing the “Stop method.” Once you become consciously aware of your thoughts, you yell STOP! either out loud or inside your head. In the momentary window of quiet, you can then direct your attention on something else. It’s a good technique that works. Of course, while using this approach you might find yourself yelling Stop quite a lot!
Here are three proven exercises that help you become present. While appearing to be simplistic, they are very powerfull!
1. Breathing. Take several deliberate slow deep breaths. Notice how breathing and thinking at the same time is difficult if not impossible!
2. Counting forms. This exercise takes several minutes.
Put your attention (rest your eyes) on an object in your immediate environment. Keep your attention on that object for 3-5 seconds (without thinking about what it is!) and count the number 1, out loud . Repeat this and choose different objects, placing your attention for several seconds on each one as you count up to 20 objects. Notice how you feeling when you are done.
3. Counting 5-1. Bringing your attention to the present moment, identify (out loud) 5 things you see in your environment, 5 things you feel and 5 things you hear. Repeat this exercise identifying 4 things you see, feel, and hear, then 3 things, 2 things, and 1 thing. You may repeat the things you see, feel and hear.
Example:
~ I see the clock, I see the computer, I see the plant in the corner, I see the phone, I see the window.
~ I feel cold. I feel my feet touching the floor, I feel hungry, I feel the chair, I feel tired
~ I hear my own voice, I hear the cars outside, I hear the clock ticking, I hear the rain, I hear the heat running
Negative self-talk, reactions, and stories intensify when we are hungry, angry, lonely, and tired.
Making self-care a priority helps to minimize self-created dramas. When feeling fear, attention is focused on the future. When feeling pain, attention is focused on the past.
Want to play with this deliberately?
For the next 24- 48 hours, observe the chatter you hear in your head in situations where things are going well or not going well. Notice what impact your thoughts are having on you in those situations. Be aware of how you are feeling – emotionally, physically, and physically. Is your self-talk supportive? Non-supportive?
Practice the three exercises described above. Remember, things take time, attention, and consistency to become permanent.
If you liked today’s post, it’s a sneak peek at only one teeny piece from my new program with colleague Anita Pathik-Law: Having it All- Creating the Impossible. An 8-step blueprint for aligning with your destiny. The program begins on Feb. 25 and we are still taking registrations. Click here to learn more
Have a great day and enjoy more moments of peace! 
Lorraine
www.powerfull-living.biz
Alex Blackwell on 19 Feb 2008 at 7:57 am: 1
Lorraine - you offer some very good tips and techniques. I especially like the 5-1 method. I can see how this would change your focus. I’m sure I will have an opportunity or two to try this one today!
Alex
lorraine on 19 Feb 2008 at 8:13 am: 2
Thanks Alex,
I’ve used all three and found they help to unhook me from the craziness of my mind.
Try any of these out and tell me how they work for you,
Cheers,
Lorraine
Giia on 19 Feb 2008 at 9:31 am: 3
Hello Lorraine!
This question is a bit off and I hope you don’t mind me throwing it at you. Most of the time I have a head filled with sunny thoughts and rainbow visions and life is as good as it can get
But then, on a monthly basis, come the days of misery. Thoughts at that time seem to help rather than worsen the emotional lows but these lows do come no matter what my thoughts. I guess I am bringing it on by expecting for this to go on and welcome it with cringe every time I “recognize” it but what is there to be done??? I guess my question is - what language do hormones speak?
Peg on 19 Feb 2008 at 9:53 am: 4
Lorraine,
Love these positive steps for clearing your mind of “chatter”. It is so important to help us get to the “heart” of what matters.
Thanks,
Peg
lorraine on 19 Feb 2008 at 3:40 pm: 5
Absolutely Peg
Unless we can turn off (or at least lower the volume) of our inner NOISE that is non-serving, it’s so hear to tap into our own guidance.
Thanks for your comments.
Cheers,
Lorraine
lorraine on 19 Feb 2008 at 3:53 pm: 6
Ask away Giia,
My thought is that when those times of the month comes, hormones are all over the place. I suggest keeping your mind on the idea that each month you might feel out of sorts and, rather than judge or see what you feel as wrong or bad, implement some things you know that will create ease for you - things that nurture you when you are feeling more vulnerable and tender. See this as a temporary state that has a beginning and an end and keep your focus on what you need to navigate through this period.
Irritability, dark thoughts, impatience, negative self-talk and thinking are some typical reactions. Another thing to consider is that as humans, we do need to blow steam some times and release. Perhaps this is a way you release some stuff so that your happy thoughts flourish?
Just a thought……
Cheers,
Lorraine
Lola Fayemi on 20 Feb 2008 at 12:52 pm: 7
Hey Lorraine
I’m a big fan of having tools so thanks for these.
They all are great techniques for being present. I think that being present and being with the negative chatter can help it to pass. Trying to bury or ignore it just makes it hang around for longer.
Sometimes people think they’ll get stuck in the land of negativity but it doesn’t work like that.
In love, light and abundance x x x
lorraine on 20 Feb 2008 at 3:25 pm: 8
Hey Lola,
Thank for adding your wisdom my friend.
Ain’t that the truth about trying to bury stuff. It doesn’t stay down! LOL
What we focus on expands right? What we resist, persists.
I think it’s about trusting ourselves, the Universe, the process (tools, resources) and people so that we can release the beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve us.
Have a great night!
Lorraine
Laura on 20 Feb 2008 at 9:01 pm: 9
counting 5-1 is super effective! Thank you for sharing this tool at a time when I really, really need it. So true about those voices getting more rambuncious when any aspect of HALT is going on but of course I didn’t realize it until I read it in your BLOG.
Laura
lorraine on 20 Feb 2008 at 11:05 pm: 10
Hey Laura,
Thanks for adding your comment. I’m glad the post was timely for you to add these tips to your toolbox.
I appreciate the feedback that it worked well for you too.
Have a great night.
Cheers,
Lorraine
Claudia on 21 Feb 2008 at 4:26 am: 11
Hi,
Those are some great tips for turning off the noise inside the head. I have realised more and more just by listening to some of the stuff that sprouts there we are indeed creators. I mean we must be because all that chatter comes from within.
lorraine on 21 Feb 2008 at 9:03 am: 12
That’s right Claudia
We all create our own noise, a lot is what we may have heard others say and we just replay it in our heads. We also make stuff up and create stories and dramas that cause us a lot of pain and stress. The good news is that we can change that!
If you’re interested, I’m starting a program with a colleague - Having it All: Creating the Impossible on Feb. 25. It’s 8 sessions and two address beliefs, and self talk. http://www.powerofmyway.com/havingitall.html
Thanks for stopping by!
Cheers,
Lorraine
Nickolove Lovemore on 21 Feb 2008 at 5:58 pm: 13
Hi Lorraine,
Some great tips for turning off negative chatter. I once asked a client to monitor what she said to herself during the day because she had a tendency to put herself down.
When she reported back she said that she gave up after the first hour or two. At first I was somewhat disappointed that she didn’t persist with the assignment but she then went on to say that she said stopped because of the frequency she found herself saying negative things.
We did other work to boost her self-esteem but this exercise was very helpful in that it increased her awareness of the level of her own verbal abuse.
lorraine on 21 Feb 2008 at 6:33 pm: 14
I agree with the benefit of the exercise Nicolove,
Becoming aware of what we do to ourselves can be very uncomfortable and brings up a lot of feelings.
Being able to change negative thoughts and self-talk can’t really occur as long as people are in the dark. You can’t change, improve or transform what you don’t know.
I’ll bet when you were at a future point of working, she was so much different (happier, stronger,…) because of that exercise. It takes courage!
Thanks for adding your comment!
Warmly,
Lorraine
Peggy L on 26 Feb 2008 at 12:20 am: 15
Those were great tips. Sometimes I repeat a prayer or a poem and concentrate on the words. This usually calms the ineer turmoil. I agree with your advice for Gia, getting thru those dark days can be tough.
lorraine on 26 Feb 2008 at 12:38 am: 16
Great ideas to focus on a poem or a prayer Peggy
We are meant to feel the full range of emotions and walking through them rather than getting stuck in them. The negative self-talk can keep us spinning so that we go round and round.
I will add your suggestions to my list!
Thanks
Lorraine
Giovanna Tonelli on 12 Mar 2008 at 11:24 am: 17
Yes,so important to be in the here & now. But it takes such effort.
Thank you for the tips to keep working on it.
lorraine on 12 Mar 2008 at 11:43 am: 18
It’s an ongoing journey Giovanna
Once we become more present, life can become more joyful when are attention is inthe NOW rather than ruminating on the past or fearing the future.
Have a great day
Powerfull Living » Five Critical Ingredients for Business and Personal Success on 17 Mar 2008 at 3:14 pm: 19
[...] 3. Remove any limiting beliefs and negative self-talk. Pay attention to the reasons, excuses, and distractions that come up to let something slide or discount it’s importance to you. “I don’t have time, I’ll do this later,” allowing distractions and other busy stuff to crowd your schedule will quickly pull you away from your desires. Personally, I advocate getting to know yourself well so that you can uncover underlying beliefs and behaviors that sabotage success. The benefits include healing, personal transformation, increased self worth, self-love and self-trust. That’s a big piece of the work I do personally and with my clients. I’m also blessed to have some talented friends and colleagues who help me when I need to deal with some sensitive issues. Read my post of calming inner chatter here. [...]
Giovanna Tonelli on 25 Mar 2008 at 4:46 pm: 20
Again a wonderful tool to improve life.Thank you so much.
lorraine on 25 Mar 2008 at 4:56 pm: 21
They work too Giovanna
Always great to hear from you. I hope things are going well.
Blessings,
Lorraine
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Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Map on 14 Aug 2008 at 11:01 pm: 23
Hi Lorraine, thanks for sharing ways to help the negative chatter. I’m reminded of a simple Siva Method technique. It’s the same as yelling Stop. It requires us to just say “Cancel cancel cancel” if we catch ourselves saying something negative. It’s nice that I am constantly reminded through your posts about the stuff that I need to put into practice.
Thks,
Evelyn
lorraine on 15 Aug 2008 at 8:01 am: 24
I’m very familiar with the “Stop” technique Evelyn
I haven’t heard of the Silva one. I think the key thing is having a broad toolbox to remind us to breathe and come back to the present. I also find meditation reduces mental chatter.
My pleasure to be of service to you
Warmly,
Lorraine
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