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Life has always been full of uncertainties. Over the last several years with downsizing, bankruptcies, scandals, crime, the economic environment, and the threat of war, people are feeling power-less, fearful, and stressed about their present and future lives. I know people give their power away, often in ways they don’t realize.
#1 SECRET to being “in power”
No matter what life situation you are experiencing; your interpretation (perception/attitudes) towards that situation is the key to shifting from power-less to power-full. Do you see the experience as a problem, barrier, something too big for you to handle – a negative that evokes emotional distress? OR do you perceive the situation as a challenge, something that moves you forward, excites you, evokes creative problem solving? How you (1) view that situation and (2) view yourself in that situation can shift you dramatically from power-less to power-full in an instant!
Example: Consider any situation you perceive as having no control. Is that really true?
Ask yourself….
* In this situation, is there anything I do control?
* In this situation, is there anything I can influence?
* In this situation, what don't I control?
Now, consider that situation once more. Has your original perception of having no control changed in any way? If yes, how?
1. Strategies that help you stay strong and focused:
Ø Ramp up self-care. I use extreme because taking the best care of You is serious. Identify ways to replenish and strengthen yourself – mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When we feel replenished, we handle situations with strength, clarity and focus. Consider what fuels and energizes you?
Ø Decrease/eliminate energy drains. What are you tolerating/putting up with that drains your energy?
We put up with, accept, take on and are dragged down by people’s behavior, situations, unmet needs, crossed boundaries, in-completions, problems and even our own behavior (avoidance, silence, compliance) We can even normalize things because we have become conditioned to put up with it! You are putting up with more than you think, so what are you tolerating? Be specific.
Here are some examples; needed repairs, clutter, unanswered correspondence, debt, a job, a relationship. What about the subtle energy zappers that drain you? What is this costing you? What are you willing to do to change? Want to direct your energy more productively, feel more revitalized and focused?
Ø Create and enforce boundaries. Find your voice! Boundaries (limits) separate us from other people and situations; keeping us safe from threats, real or imagined. When we set boundaries (and reinforce them!), we create a “living space” for ourselves that tells us where we “end” and someone else “begins.” By setting and maintaining your boundaries, you will educate people how you wish to be respected. The result? You become a great model for others and your relationships benefit by being with a happier YOU!
Ø Monitor self-sabotage. What is self-sabotage? Self-sabotage is the combination of attitudes (beliefs, thoughts, feelings) and actions (behaviors) that create obstacles and roadblocks to our success, life fulfillment, etc. Self-defeating behaviors are the result of self-defeating attitudes. To be open to change is to be willing to accept yourself exactly as you are, Moving beyond self-sabotage requires having an open mind; letting go of self-judgments and criticisms. Forgive yourself for past choices and take the lessons/experiences learned to strengthen and empower you.
Ø Surround yourself with people and things that life your Spirit. What brings you joy? We are influenced and impacted by the people in our lives especially within our inner circle. Allowing the special people in your life to love and support you is a gift and a blessing from which to draw strength, clarity, and courage.
Ø Practice daily gratitude – Recognizing your daily blessings, big and small evokes peace and trust. Taking time to express sincere gratitude generates joy-full thoughts and feelings. Put your attention on the glass half full rather than the glass half empty.
Ø Be a risk-taker. MOVE! Take action! Focus on the outcomes you can control or influence in your life.
Copyright 2003, Lorraine Cohen. All Rights Reserved. This article may be reproduced or transmitted in its entirety only, including this copyright line.
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